Stevie J Vs The Mediterranean Sea

Here we go again. I’d never been on a cruise before this year—and somehow ended up doing three. This is number two (even though, technically, it was the third). Confused? Yeah, me too. But I’m telling this one second because the Mediterranean deserves a little more love. It's more thought-provoking, more layered. Alaska was jaw-dropping, sure. But the Med? The Med has soul.

They say the Mediterranean is the epitome of vacation spots—and it’s hard to argue. If food, culture, history, beauty, and that slow-simmering kind of charm are your thing, then yeah—it lives up to the hype. But keep in mind: the Mediterranean isn’t just one vibe. It’s a massive sea surrounded by a whole bunch of countries, each with its own flavor. For this post, I’ll be talking about Greece, Montenegro, Croatia, Italy, and Malta—specifically the cities I set foot in. If you’re looking for France or Spain, this isn’t that blog. Go Google that one.

Also, before someone accuses me of clickbait: “Stevie J vs. The Mediterranean Sea” is just the cleverest title I could come up with. There are no brawls or bar fights here (sorry). But hey, there might be a scooter crash or a wrong turn or two. Let’s call it a psychological showdown between me and this part of the world.

Athens

Athens.Beautiful… in all the right spots.Except I didn’t see most of those. My time there took a turn—a bad left turn, to be exact. More on that in a moment.

I landed jet-lagged but optimistic. The overnight flight helped ease the time zone jump—or so I thought. The drive from the airport into the city? Honestly, a bit underwhelming. Maybe that’s on me for expecting immediate grandeur. Like most cities, Athens has its connective tissue—highways, plain buildings, industrial stretches. It’s not the postcard view, not yet.

But then, you crest a hill. The Acropolis cuts into the skyline like a monument to history itself. That’s when it hits you: This is Athens. The birthplace of democracy, philosophy… and souvlaki.

I arrived at the hotel a solid four hours before my party. Room wasn’t ready. So much for rest. So, what do you do when you’re running on fumes in a foreign city? You explore.

Dropped my bags with the bellhop, strapped on my backpack, and asked the doorman the most basic tourist question:"Where can I get coffee and food?"His answer: Go left.

If only I had gone left and stayed straight. I would’ve stumbled right into the Panathenaic Stadium—home of the first modern Olympic Games. Instead, I stayed left, wandered aimlessly, and walked straight into a misadventure.

I took a stairway just because it looked interesting. That led me past high-end retailers—Rolex, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Chanel. I figured, Hey, this must be the right direction.

I paused for a vanilla latte. Then saw on Apple Maps a park nearby—seemed like a safe bet. But this park was fenced off and perched atop a hill. I kept climbing, unintentionally gaining elevation and losing my bearings. Eventually, I descended into a part of the city that felt… different. A little rougher around the edges.

It was Sunday morning, so the streets were slow and quiet. Even in this gritty pocket of town, families packed local cafés, sipping cappuccinos under crumbling balconies. Among graffiti-splashed walls, I spotted a mural of Obi-Wan Kenobi. A Star Wars beacon in the heart of urban Athens—go figure.

Despite the missteps, I didn’t mind. I wanted to see the real Athens—and this was it.Eventually, I found an actual park. A dog park, of course. A hidden gem full of sculptures and beautiful pups, most of them off-leash—which I’m violently against, but hey, different continent, different customs.

The walk back to the hotel was full of unexpected treasures:– A tucked-away indie movie theater for fellow cinephiles– One of the best-designed indoor malls I’ve ever seen– And finally, the rooftop of our hotelThat was the moment. The sun lowering behind the hills, casting gold light over the ruins. That’s when Athens showed its full face—ancient, layered, alive.

Gythion

Odysseus traveled these seas for 10 years. We had about two and a half days in the Greek Islands. So if you want to be strong like Achilles, I’d recommend the fish and a gyro.

Rain, rain, go away. Yes, what are the odds of getting to our first destination and we hit a ton of rain? Pretty good, if you’re us. Remember Sitka, how it rained and we had to take the tender over to the mainland? Story of my life, same with Gythion. Rather than sounding bitter about the weather, I relish it. It adds a level of authenticity that you can't buy.

Gythion is as much a fish town as a fish town can get. Caught right outside the local waters, thrown into a tub for your choosing. At least at 90 Moires right off the port, you can pick your fish. And if you’re looking for a local brew to wash your fried fish down, look no further than a Mythos. Very fitting name for a Greek beer. Mythos means story in Greek and there's nothing I love more than hanging out with buddies and swapping stories, telling lies over a beer. What's more traditional than that? I honestly think that was why beer was made. No better way to make friends than alcohol and secrets.

Gythion is a ghost town on the weekends, so don't expect too much. I guess it's work your ass off and catch your fish throughout the week and enjoy it on the weekends.

Argostoli

Kefalonia, Argostoli reminded me of a small beach town in Florida or one of the Carolinas. It's very quaint and like most places in Europe, Sunday is God's day so everything is closed. It is small and beautiful with the water and mountains wrapped around you. Makes sense there are so many condos to rent with hot tubs facing the water. Hate to waste a view.

And the local food is exceptional. Pan Nik, a little local tavern with a view of the inner city. If you're hungry, the assortment of meat platters is to die for. I won’t get into all the adjectives to describe the food, rest assured it's all the positive ones. Okay, wait, the one thing I will say: that myth about needing peanut butter to get rid of garlic breath—nope, lie. If you need that, chances are you aren't having authentic Greek food.

Kotor

I had no expectations going into Kotor and I had no expectations leaving Kotor. I had a very Buddhist mindset. The only real and honest reason I was looking forward to it, even though I knew where we were going wasn't near the source of my imagination, was none other than Ian Fleming's Casino Royale. Yes, the James Bond movie. One of my favorite movies, and they set the stage for Casino Royale in Montenegro. And honestly, I don't even know if it really was, I just knew they said it in the movie so it was gospel for me.

Movie set or not, I ended up loving how rich and beautiful Montenegro can be. Starting with the exhausting but exhilarating feeling of accomplishment when you reach the top of the 1,400 stairs to the Fortress of San Giovanni. You want a panoramic view, want a photo op that looks like a screensaver, this is it.

Now, the city limits that we were in was actually a fort in its own right called Stari Grad. The Old Town has stayed the same but revamped with local restaurants and boutiques. You can say it's touristy and normally I would agree. But the spirit of the town is very much authentic. There's nothing more attractive, more appealing, more intoxicating than a place that's soaked and comfortable in who it is.

Granted, I didn't get to explore as much as I could, but from the little that I saw, it made me want to. And to me, there can be no greater compliment.

Did I mention how exhausting it was climbing up that staircase? Not just up but also down. So what's one do after an exhausting excursion? Grab a beer and a slice. Okay, it was more like five slices but who's counting. Pizza here though isn't like Pizza Hut. It's light and the pepperoni isn't actually pepperoni. It's like a spicy salami. Rather than describing what it's like because I won’t be able to do it justice, I'll leave you with this: it's really good and you won’t feel bloated afterwards.

Dubrovnik

If you're a Game of Thrones fan, then this is the place for you to nerd out. Because this is the place where they filmed portions of the show for King's Landing. Now, King's Landing may be dangerous, corrupt, and disconnected. You can find a fiery sun or an ice wind depending on what alley or street you’re on… However, the city of Dubrovnik is actually one of the safest cities you can travel to.

I mean, what is it about these European tourist-heavy cities that make your local cab driver volunteer to share he lets his fourteen-year-old daughter wander around at night because the city is so safe? Whereas in the US there are plenty of cities I'd be happy to share where I'd be happy to not walk around at night because it's not so safe. I bring this point up only because of the safety concerns I always had about traveling abroad. So when I hear these things it puts my mind at ease and maybe yours too. I digress.

Understandably, there are some restaurants that cross nations and states but please skip the Hard Rock Cafes when you visit them. Dubrovnik and these other cities, you don't need a Hard Rock Cafe shirt unless you feel it'll change your life in some way.

Instead, swap that out and find a local dive bar or cave bar. It's these places that survived Covid when it looked dicey at best.

Valletta

I’d like to start by thanking the city of Valletta for letting me park my weekend yacht at the marina. When traveling, please skip the Hard Rock Cafes and indulge in local cuisine and brews to understand the region you’re visiting.

Walking around Valletta, you get the feeling that the views are the star of the show. The buildings and streets are very European, very Italian. Makes sense because it can be so old-fashioned and aged so beautifully it's romantic. I didn't get a chance to see it at night but I can only imagine this city being a character in a Woody Allen movie.

It's been utilized as a naval base during wars. It's survived Napoleon's reign, thus the fortification that surrounds the city, which adds a bit of flair to an otherwise monotonous capital. The Upper and Lower Barrakka Gardens are beautiful but small. It's less of gardens and more of a garden. It's a great little cut-through to the elevator to get back down to the street.

And naturally, the food porn in Valletta is off the walls. Which is why I say stay out of the Hard Rock Cafes. Find a local joint on the water and enjoy a beer and some local dishes.

Palermo

Palermo is the capital of Sicily; Sicily is part of Italy. But ask some of the locals—it is and it isn’t. It has its own history and culture that you can get lost in; the other thing you can get lost in is the Capo Street Market. Oils, spices, pasta, you name it, they got it.

Palermo is drenched in what they do, making their own wines, scenic views of a volcano (sadly I didn't get to see it). You forget you're on an island. Speaking of islands, the water is as blue and clear—everything that the Med has to offer.

Rome

Rome is so rich this might feel like a blog version of Roman Holiday. Not sorry for that reference. One, it's a great movie and two, I'm a sucker for Audrey Hepburn. With that said, last but not least. This is Rome!

Traditionally, I don’t care to partake in the touristy thing; however, when you’re in a city home to a stadium so famous they set a whole movie around it and to an emperor so renowned they named a salad after him, exceptions can be made.

Rome, the city known for its history of violence, conquering heroes, the greatest thinkers. Oh, and a little thing called the Vatican. As much as a traveler looks around in awe and amazement because almost every corner contains some level of history. Leave it to the locals to think of these marvels as like, 'yeah that's such and such.' It's no big deal to them because when you see these iconic places day in and day out it loses its luster. I don't blame them. It's like when people from other places say I must go to Disney all the time since I live in Orlando. It's there but it's whatever to me.

I'll get this out of the way. The Colosseum is as cool as it looks in movies and photos. It's a symbol of polysemy. Beauty is pain. Pain is beauty. Can you have one and not the other? In the process, Rome gave the world one of the first amphitheaters, giving its people a stage to die for entertainment. Only to have it become a scenic backdrop for Peck to woo Hepburn on a scooter.

Rome felt like a hodgepodge of identities. It felt like Paris with a mix of Spanish vibes. Yes, I know Rome was there long before Paris. Rome is very much Italian and the only real Spanish inspiration are the Spanish Steps. These famous steps are named after the Spanish Embassy. But these steps have been home to writers, poets, artists as famous as John Keats. And of course those two wonderful actors from that one wonderful movie.

Fun fact: when you travel abroad, indulge in indigenous food and drink with the locals and chances are you’ll expand your horizons and more times than not won’t get sick. Fresh ingredients picked daily regardless of how unique or peculiar the food might be. Fortunately, Rome has everything that your local Carrabba's or Olive Garden has to offer, but a thousand times better. Nothing against those chains, but when you get the same stuff from the mothership it hits differently. It's food with memories.

Final Thought

Somewhere between the wrong turns in Athens, the rain in Gythion, the stairs in Kotor, and the weight of Rome, I realized something: The Mediterranean didn’t need to impress me. It didn’t need to be convenient. It didn’t care if I was tired, jet-lagged, or mildly lost. And that was kind of the point. This trip wasn’t about checking boxes or chasing postcard moments. It was about friction—getting uncomfortable, being humbled, being reminded that places don’t exist to entertain us. They exist whether we’re there or not.

The Mediterranean didn’t win. But I didn’t either. It just showed up exactly as it is—layered, old, unapologetic—and let me figure out how to meet it where it stood.

I’ll take that over perfection every time.